Posted in Being Someone, Mysticism, Theology


The driving force. Obsession. A man is no man if he has no obsession and if he is not obsessed. Just like a man is no man if he is not possessed by the soul that he carries in his vessel. Obsession is the heat of the soul. Anything other than that is but, death.


Obsession. Dead is all that which does not have a soul. And the soul is dead that which has no passion for obsession.

God. The Higher Power was obsessed. He wanted to be known. Hidden like a well-guarded, highly secretive treasure…he was obsessed to be known. So. He created man- that man may come looking for the secrets that come after the guard. No man can find God, if he is not obsessed like his Maker.

Our Lord was so obsessed with being found out, which alas only few took that road, that he created not just man, but a mankind and everything around it which may support it. He surrounded his creation with all the signs that he may understand and know.

Man does not know. He does not walk further than the cradle. Once he crawls out of it, he stands there looking around. Then, for the remainder of his life, he rocks it.

Obsessed. Obsession. Be possessed with obsession that you may learn that there is a spark. The spark that only alights for half a second in the air before it goes out. Beautiful, magnificent, glory. For half a second. Obsession lights the way to glory.

No man has ever lived who has not had an obsession. No obsession has ever failed to breathe life into a soul and make it whole.


Why Sugarcoat?

You know how we all like our doughnuts sprinkled with sugar and the treacle tart all syrupy? Well truth is not like that. In fact, truth is anything but a chocolate cupcake with the colourful sprinkles on it.
I have a nag of speaking the truth, usually when it is more appropriate to sweet the truth talk. But I don’t do it. Even though I’ve been told countless times by practically everyone I know to keep my mouth shut when someone asks my opinion.
But you know what? The reason why people come to me for advice, or opinion, is not because I sweeten the bitter stuff, but because I blurt it out.
For some people not speaking the truth is as much like as not looking someone in the eye. The fact is; truth is raw, usually bitter, even sour sometimes, so much so that you can taste it. When God speaks, He doesn’t sugarcoat the burning hell nor does he sweeten the fact how He is a legalistic. He just says it. Clear and loud for those who would listen and pay heed.
Man is no different. When he speaks the truth, it might drive through the chest as a six inch knife. But it’s there. Like the cat out of the bag. Everyone has a different way of dealing with truth, but that’s between them and their conscience.
Once, a palmist told me that I will suffer great losses in life because I speak the truth. He begged me to learn to sugarcoat. Sugarcoating the truth doesn’t take away the bitterness. Instead because of the sweet stuff it might be mistaken for a bad medicine which just had to be ingested and forgotten about afterwards.
I might have suffered great losses in life because I speak the truth to the point where I don’t care if it might destroy me. I do it anyways. There are very little things we do right in the span of our short lives. I’m glad I blurt the truth and don’t sugarcoat it.

Posted in Mysticism

Conversations with Self

As children we had imaginary friends. As we grow older, we talk to ourselves. Usually in reclusion out of ear shot, we say to ourselves exactly what we wish too. This we do with zero sugar coating and the words unspoken within are a true reflection of the ‘real’ us.

I’m not talking about how we bad mouth people in their absence. I’m talking about the conscience within, which is very much alive. Some of us wish to refute it, put it on ignore. I on the other hand have developed myself more from these private conversations with self, than any other self help book.

Conversations with self are highly entertaining. The inner voice, most say it is the voice of God, is an ever guide. But what I want to point out to you is that that such conversations with self, when nurtured can be an excellent barometer, and surprisingly, a mirror to our own emotions and feelings which we otherwise turn a blind eye towards.

I like to keep notes to some of these interesting conversations with self. Most noteworthy of which was while I rinsed my face with water in the bathroom over a sink at my office, I thought to myself, ”Are you okay?” While I started at myself in the mirror, the inner voice replied, “I’m fine, I’m just dying inside.”‘ Needless to say, I listened to myself, acknowledged how unhappy I was and how far away I had strayed from whom I wanted to be. There was a major lifestyle change as a consequent.

For the first time in my life I startled myself. I was so busy trying to do great things that I pretty much forgot what the inner me wanted and if it was even happy.

Sometimes I feel that my best companion is me. One of the greatest mystic secret is that man, an ordinary man, is a mini God. God lives not only above or around us, but within us too. Sadly, Dan Brown gave away this secret is his famous book The Lost Symbol. But I think most readers took it as a myth and did not give it a second thought.

Anyways, so perhaps, speaking to yourself should not be a sign of weakness of the upper storey. Conversations with self shows how attune you are with the God within. The only problem is that He speaks; we just tend to nudge away the thought that comes considering it rather petty.

Being able to converse with yourself is an epitome of morality, only if you heed to what it has to say. Conversations with self no longer keep the lonely summer alone, nor does it leave dreary nights morbid. There is plenty to learn about yourself, and so why not start with yourself.

Posted in Poem

Find Yourself

“You can not know love

Unless you have known hate

You can not know strength

Unless you have been weak

You can not know joy

Unless you have met misery

You can never know gain

Unless you understand loss

You can not know hope

Unless you have been in despair

You can never be free

Unless you have been tethered

You can never find light

Unless you stumbled in darkness

You can not know success

Unless you have seen defeat

You can not know a friend

Unless you first met a foe

You can not learn to breathe

Unless you were breathless

You can never learn to laugh

Unless you first know how to cry

You can never know if you are sane

Unless you frequent insanity

You can not k now water

Unless you know fire

You can never know God

Unless you first meet Satan

You can never reach your goal

Unless you first get lost

You can never find yourself

Unless you first lose yourself”

Posted in Dear Sally

The Abyss

Dear Sally,

You know how I tend to fall into an abyss from time to time. I’ve told you in our journal how dark it is, how foreboding. Frequenting an oblivion is not easy. It is not merry. You forget what you were doing, and after a while you start forgetting why you are doing it. A life where you stand on the ledge all the time, and you don’t know when you will get back to safety. It’s a dreary life. A life I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even an enemy.

Sometimes, I ask God if death is easier. That too is oblivion, is it not? But then I tell myself that in death you don’t walk the ledge. You are beyond it, here or there. Not suck in the betweens. Not knowing where beyond the ledge I’ll end up while I still hold on to here, death too seems tormenting. Ignorance, Sally, after all is not always a blessing.

I was reading somewhere that faith is a leap into darkness. Into the unknown. Faith is betting on something you know very little about. Choosing to have faith is like a gamble, but it is an all-win situation. Blaise Pascal said, ‘In choosing to believe in God, the risk is finite but the gain infinite.’ So, while I try to pass the fifteen minutes while my respiration arrests and I cough and choke to breath, I hold on to faith and tell myself “This too shall pass.”

Posted in Poem

“Better to…”

Better to leave

Than to stay

Better to give up

Than to care

Better to let go

Than to hold on

Better to fail

Than to try not

Better to forgive

Than to blame

Better to love

Than to push away

Better to be holy

Than to be dust

Better to be here

Than be not

Better to soar oceans

Than tread narrow doors

Better to dance

Than to be still

Better to be silent

Than to complain

Better to be kind

Than to prosecute

Better to be with God

Than to be alone

Better to worship

Than to close eyes

Better to see

Than to be blind

Better to listen

Than to be deaf

Better have a throbbing heart

Than a lifeless stone

Better to be iron

Than to be jewels

Better to be alive and in pain

Than to be dead and frozen

Better to stand by the Lord

Than to stand by Lucifer

Better to be miserable

Than not feel at all

Better to have memories

Than to have none

Better to rejoice miseries

Than to sulk in joy

Better to have rocked the cradle

Than to have ignored

Better to grow a decision

Than be late and regret

Better live with Ali

Than with his foes

Better to have known and wondered

Than not to have known at all.


Posted in Questions

Not Frequently Asked Questions

Common knowledge is always taken for granted. It is so common that we don’t bother asking, or finding out what otherwise should be frequently asked questions in this too general a world.

What is a ‘friend’? The dictionary says that a “friend is a person that you know and like, and that you enjoy spending your time with.” I wonder if that statement suffices to define this person, friend. When you were little and at school, a friend was someone who used to accompany you during lunch. In college it was the group you used to hang out with. Looking around now, you don’t see any of these friends. Neither the plaited hair, freckled teeny bopper, nor the bunch of twittering girls with whom you used to share your notes. Then there were those whom you used to party late with and did everything that you were not supposed to do. There were others too, who provided a hanky so you could blow your nose or those who were eager to help when you wanted it the most. Looking around again, you don’t see any of them anymore surrounding you the way they used to.

So I ask again. What is a friend? Is it someone who happens to be just there at the moment we need them because of the cosmos’ grand design, or someone who’ll stay even after their time is up to offer whatever we needed at that time. Not everyone is lucky to have friends like Ron and Hermione, but then again, not everyone faces a troll and ‘live to tell the tale’ about how they took one on with their friends. Hence, with regret, I have to declare that we don’t know what a friend is.

Then there is this other thing everyone just loves to talk about. Love. What, may I ask, is love? Is love what a mother feels for a child? Or is it described when a man pines for woman? Is it love for the Lord that the mystics dance in joy for? Or is it a soldier who is willing to die for his country? The dictionary describes love in three different ways: “you love your family and people who are close to you, or people you admire, if you are fond of them and are concerned about their welfare and happiness”; “you love someone when, as well as being attracted to them sexually and romantically, you have a deep affection for them”; “you love something such as your country if you want to be loyal to it and protect it”.

Although my source is as good as any, in my opinion, these short definitions don’t even come close to the actual thing. Jane Austen has said it best in a way that not only explains the complexity of the idea of love, but also hints that however we might try, we may never be able to get the whole picture. She says, “There are as many forms of love, as there are moments in time.” To wrap up, I would have to say, man can not begin to comprehend the meaning of love.

Keats once said, “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.” One wonders, what is ‘beauty’? Is beauty what Pygmalion fashioned in his sculptor of a woman and fell in love with it? Is beauty defined by Helen of Troy? Or is it what it has become now, a warring pageant for the kinky? The dictionary says: “Beauty is the quality of being beautiful”. While, “you describe something as beautiful if you find it very attractive, pleasant or delightful”.  Is the beauty of an English country girl’s “fine eyes” which so smite Mr. Darcy, a criteria for beauty? Or was Pygmalion’s Galatea (meaning, she who is white like milk) the real deal? I am afraid, man might never know what beauty is? But of course, this has never stopped him from imagining what it might be.

Finally, we come to the most controversial of notions in the history of mankind. What is God? Man has had a long history with this idea. Perhaps, longer than those discussed above. In his four thousand years quest for God, man has evolved many beliefs, none of which are explicit. The dictionary offers a rather short definition: “God is the name given to the being who, many people believe, created the universe and guides or controls the lives of all people”. To say that the three monotheistic religions might have an answer, would be untrue.

When Moses had cried out on Mount Sinai, “Who are You?”, the only answer he got from his Lord was, “I am, who I am.” Young Christians are made to learn a catechism answer to the question, “What is God?”: “God is the Supreme Spirit, Who alone exists of Himself and is infinite in all perfections.” I would like to quote Bulleh Shah on this account. He said about God: “God and man are one, Like cloth comes from cotton. Cotton is hidden in cloth, Like God is in man.”

Whatever we might have to say on the truth of  ‘friend’, ‘love’, ‘beauty’, or God’, we need first to understand that each of these notions are quite subjective. They are not what they are, rather what we want them to be. Hence, it is as they say, ‘to each man his own’.